Dinner's served...cover your ears!

There is a reason I prefer eating from a box. I do not enjoy cooking. It is stressful and requires constant concentration for me to do well. Literally, I can feel the vertical crease in my forehead, just between my eyebrows; deepen while I stand over a stove. Usually I make things up as I go along. On the occasions when I succeed at following a recipe, I feel a sense of accomplishment, but these moments from scratch are few and far between. Tonight's Baked Mac & Cheese was no exception. Not only did it take an awfully long time to prep because of additional steps (and because I let my children help with each step), but after baking, it was still watery. Like vomit in my mouth and I ate it anyway because as I told the kids, there were no alternatives allowed tonight.

Alternatives like jumping in the car and heading to McDonald's! Sure there are other things to make at home, but unless it comes out of a box or a can, or I can prepare it on the stove top in under 15 minutes, I'll pass, thank you.

My best meal is breakfast. I can make the most delicious pancakes, palatable eggs and on rare mornings home fries. No one does bacon better than me--possibly because I painstakingly follow the package directions, flipping several times. But even my kids get tired of breakfast for lunch and dinner.

Of course there are times when I will make the whole meal, but if I can avoid it I will. Peanut butter spoons all around, cheers!

Betty Crocker really is my best friend in the kitchen. We go way back. I love to make anything with her seal of approval. Add eggs, water or milk, butter and bake. No timer necessary, I know it's done when it smells like heaven. If we could eat muffins and cake everyday, I might be tempted.

More insulting than anything is the smoke detector. It just doesn't seem fair that after I have spent my precious time trying to make a balanced and thoughtful meal that my family instantly arrives to eat at the sound of the alarm. At first it was funny. When we lived in an apartment the initial reaction was that something was on fire, we would panic and look around everywhere, relieved that it was just my cooking. Now, in a multi-story house it is like surround sound, screaming on every floor--"Kitchen's full of smoke! Time to eat!" The food is not actually burnt, (most of the time) but apparently having too many pots bubbling at once is a call for help.

Time management is also a continuous struggle for me. There is actually a process to cooking; prepping the ingredients, setting water to boil or simmering one pot while prepping for another. Too much! There was a time in my life when no one was allowed in the kitchen while I was working because I needed all my concentration to make sure everything came out ready to plate at the same time. Ridiculous. My husband is the only one I am comfortable cooking with, but baking? Even he is sent out. That is why when I allow my kids to participate it takes an extra long time to get anything done. It's not because of them, they are professional helpers, the process just creates so much confusion for me!

As a mom of three and a husband who usually works the dinner shift, I don't often have a choice--I'm in charge for dinner. This is why for the past several years we have been eating more fast food, carry out, or dining out than I ever imagined possible. Not only is driveway life convenient and cheap, they have toys! There is a price here, however, and it is steep. With our prizes and quick meals we have actually spent a great deal of money and I personally have gained an unfortunate amount of weight. Not the kids--some how I am always conscious of what they eat and how much activity follows--but I have been slacking on my own activity. The faster the meal, it seems, the less time is left for exercise. Part of this is the need to run from one activity to another--because I am officially a soccer mom after all.

All this changes now. This week actually. My husband and I decided the addictive habit of drive-thru windows and restaurants has to stop. We are making menus for the week and shopping for the ingredients. Only two days left on this menu and it has been a constant struggle not to head for the car. I keep reminding myself how much we are saving and how nice it will be when my pants aren't so tight…but then I realize I will be standing in front of the stove waiting for the dinner alarm to sound. Such a picture.

To be fair, I love the comments of contented eaters. The highest praise my son can give is going back for seconds…and for my daughter? Finishing what's on her plate is a great reward, for me. It is very fortunate for all of us, that my husband enjoys cooking. He loves planning the menu and selecting the ingredients. He loves prepping ingredients and actually encourages the kids to be involved. He loves to eat! His favorite mantra is to never trust a skinny chef--a person who cooks well, loves to eat.

Well, I am trying. I think I know exactly what went wrong with the Mac & Cheese tonight and because I want to succeed, I will try the recipe again…but next time I am unplugging the smoke detector.